Which was our blame? Personal testimonies of 11-M

On March 11, 2004, a series of terrorist attacks on commuter trains in Madrid changed the lives of thousands of people forever. The following is a compilation of representative and moving testimonies of that day, with special attention to the experiences of university students and the reflections of young people who were between 20 and 25 years old in 2004. Included are accounts from students who did not go to class that day (in many cases due to a university strike call in Madrid), testimonies from professors and academic staff, stories of people who were saved by chance, and generational reflections on the emotional, social, and political impact of 11-M. Each testimony is presented with its context (author, date, source) and a summary of its key points or salient quotes.

Students who did not attend class on 11-M. University strike

The morning of March 11, 2004, coincided with a strike of university professors in the Region of Madrid, which meant that many students had no classes. Many survivors and commentators believe that this fortuitous event likely reduced the number of casualties, as it kept numerous students and staff off the trains (The victims of 11M, two decades later: “Every time what happened is questioned, we are revictimized”). While this perception is widely shared and supported by numerous personal testimonies, there is no official data quantifying its impact. Montse Soler, sister of a victim, stresses that "there were no more deaths because that day there was a teachers' strike and there were no more people on the train", recognizing that the absence of many university students meant fewer passengers on the attacked trains.

• Chema de Lucas (university student in 2004) - He didn't take the train thanks to the strike, like the author of this report: Chema, then a student of Law and Business, took the 6:45 Cercanías every morning from Guadalajara to go to university, "except that day". His aunt woke him up with an anguished phone call asking "Where is the boy?" and discovered that Chema was still at home because of the teachers' strike (Where were you when 11-M? Even 20 years later, they still remember every detail). That decision saved his life: had there not been an academic strike, he would have traveled on the train that exploded on arrival at Atocha. "Like him, many colleagues would have lost their lives that morning," says the article that recounts his testimony. Chema admits that in the following months he changed his routine and avoided the train, always wondering what happened to the people he met every day: "if they died or not". Today, Chema de Lucas is a sports journalist, and every 11-M he remembers that it was "the day it was my turn" to save his life due to the vagaries of fate.

• Nika Herrera (university student in 2004) - "I overslept because of the strike... and I spent the morning crying". Nika writes a tribute in her blog ten years later, telling how she had no class that Thursday. "I still remember that I slept a little longer that day because there was a teachers' strike," she confesses (In memoriam: 11 M - Nika Herrera). Before 8:00, she received an avalanche of calls from her parents, sister, grandparents and friends, worried because they didn't know if she had taken a train: "Where are you, are you okay? Nika knew that, because of her schedule, she would not have been on the attacked trains, but that did not alleviate the anguish with which she lived the day. "I spent the whole morning crying," she admits, "I'm very sensitive and.... this kind of situation makes me very sad". Days later, when he returned to use the Cercanías to go to class, he could still see the remains of the wrecked train on the tracks, an image that "really marked me". Since then, her way of traveling has changed completely. Every anniversary of 11-M, Nika lights "a white candle" in memory of the victims, because she feels that "on that March 11 we were all on that train". Her testimony reflects the immense luck of having stayed at home that day and the deep emotional impact that the attack left on her.

• Antonio Miguel Utrera (student and survivor) - He decided to go to class despite the strike: Not all students were absent on the 11-M. Antonio, 18 years old, a first-year History student, decided to go to school despite the teachers' strike (11M, 20 years - Antonio Miguel Utrera, survivor | Interview). He took the train from Alcalá de Henares with his friend Angélica, an English Philology student. When the bombs exploded, one of the cars hit was his: Angélica died and Antonio was wounded. Years later, he considers himself a "double victim" of the bombing - for the physical injuries and for the trauma of having lost his friend. His case represents the tragic reverse of those who were saved by staying at home: he paid a very high price to attend his classes. This story was collected in 2024 in a commemorative RTVE documentary in which Antonio relives those moments and how they changed his life.

University professors and staff. Experiences and reactions

University professors and workers also experienced 11-M very closely, many as potential victims avoided thanks to the strike, and others faced with how to manage the tragedy with their students. Professor Soledad Murillo (who in 2004 was teaching at the University of Salamanca, years before becoming Secretary of State for Equality) offers an illustrative testimony of the reaction in the academic environment:

• Soledad Murillo (university professor in 2004) - "I thought it was something to do with the strike... until we stopped the class to talk about the attack": Murillo recalls that that morning, during her classes, "a student strike had been called" and at first "I thought [the commotion] was something related to that" (This is how we lived through 11-M). However, the truth of what happened in Madrid soon became known. Soledad describes how, after learning of the magnitude of the attack, she asked the other teachers to stop classes to talk to the students about what had happened. She considered it essential to address the collective shock: "When there is such a devastating problem, to put words to what you are feeling is to share the fear," she explains about that spontaneous pedagogical decision. He recalls that his students, university students in their 20s, "were the same age as many of the deceased who had taken the trains to class". That is why they felt targeted by the attack, thinking that "it could have happened to them if they had been in Madrid". This testimony shows the emotional impact in the classroom: frightened students and teachers turning the classroom into a space to share shock and grief. Soledad Murillo also highlights how, after the first impression, a wave of solidarity prevailed: "We took to the streets to say no to war and that is the best gesture for peace," she recalls, alluding to the mass demonstrations of those days.

It is worth mentioning that the university strike of that day involved mainly associate professors of the Madrid universities, many of whom did not go to work either, thus avoiding being on the attacked trains. In the days that followed, it became known that several teachers and educational staff were among the victims. For example, Javier Mengíbar, a secondary school teacher and civil servant in the Ministry of Education, lost his life in the attacks (The worst lesson imaginable - Magisnet). These facts underline how the educational community was doubly affected: on the one hand, it was saved in part by the academic mobilization (the called strike), and on the other hand, it was directly hit with the loss of some of its members.

People saved "by chance". Routine changes and providential delays

Beyond the university world, there are numerous stories of people who were saved by pure chance: small decisions or unforeseen events that morning that made the difference between life and death. Changing the usual route, arriving a few minutes late, missing a train or attending to a last-minute emergency saved many from horror. We present two moving testimonies of people who did not take those trains for fortuitous reasons:

• Ana Pérez (worker commuting to Madrid) - Caring for her sick mother saved her life: Ana, a resident of Madrid, took the Cercanías to Atocha every day to go to work. "I would always go on [the train] from two floors with several friends and acquaintances from work," she recalls (If only I had taken that train...). Except that very Thursday. On 11-M, she stayed at home because her mother, recently operated on, needed care, and Ana decided to look after her. That morning, she was woken up by calls from alarmed relatives and colleagues; when she turned on the TV and saw the news, she thought "it was a movie" because it seemed inconceivable. With time, she became aware of how lucky she had been: "I was saved by chance... I was spared because they operated on my mother," she says bluntly. However, surviving in this way also carries a heavy emotional burden. "Every anniversary hurts; terrible thoughts come into my head," Ana confesses. She knows that she knew several people who did die - "for example a friend's cousin" - and others who were saved by small delays. Since then, she has not been on a train again: "I can't, I get really sick," she admits, and avoids crowds because of the trauma. Her story, published in 2024 in La Razón, shows the two sides of "having been spared": the fortuitous salvation and the psychological consequences of continually thinking, "What would have become of me if I had gotten on that train?

• Sofía (daughter who prevented her mother from taking the train) - A timely upset changed her family's destiny: Sofía (27 years old in 2024) was only 7 years old in 2004. She lived with her mother in Alcalá de Henares. Her mother "would take the train every day... at the precise time the attacks were committed" to go to work in Madrid. That March 11, Sofia woke up saying she felt sick and begged her mother not to take her to school but to the doctor. Although her mother hesitated, the girl's insistence convinced her to postpone the trip. That seemingly trivial decision saved their lives. "I'm traumatized by the thought that I could have lost her," admits Sofia, thinking about what would have happened if her mother had taken the train like any other day. Thanks to that unforeseen indisposition, they were both "able to get on with their lives." Sofia reflects: "Life is sometimes a series of coincidences. On this occasion, it saved us. This testimony, also reported by La Razón (2024), highlights how a minimal change in routine made a difference. Similar stories were repeated in many homes: people who were a few minutes late, who changed their means of transport at the last minute or who had a strange premonition and altered their plans. In Sofia's words, "I wish the people who did take [the train], like every morning, had been as lucky as we were."

In addition to Ana and Sofia, many other anonymous voices narrated how chance saved them. For example, there were travelers who missed the 7:35 train by a few minutes or people who, due to unexpected circumstances, took the subway instead of the Cercanías that day. All of them were "born again" on 11-M. Stories like these appear in newspaper compilations, reinforcing the idea that a simple minute's difference or an everyday decision can change everything. These people, although they do not consider themselves direct victims, also carry the trauma of the "what if" question and often survivor's guilt. Their testimonies complement the memory of 11-M from the perspective of luck and coincidences that prevented an even greater tragedy.

Generational reflection. 20-25 years old in 2004

For those who were young adults in 2004 (university students or recent graduates in their early twenties), 11-M had an indelible generational impact. Their reflections, collected in blogs, letters and interviews years later, speak of the emotional pain, the social changes and even the political awakening that tragedy provoked in a generation marked by the "No to war" and citizen mobilizations.

• The trauma and empathy of a young generation: Many young people felt deeply identified with the victims. "We were all on that train," says Nika Herrera, who, at the age of 20, lived through the attack as a university student (In memoriam: 11 M - Nika Herrera). That sense of shared vulnerability ran deep: "It could have been any one of us," they repeated. Young people like Nika report having developed persistent fears (for example, of public transportation) and personal rituals to cope with the memory. In her case, every March 11 she lights a candle and recalls the smell of wax and silence of the spontaneous vigils in Atocha in 2004. Others speak of how that day "changed the way we travel on public transport" and how we perceive daily security. The psychological imprint is clear: although not everyone suffered direct losses, they shared in the national mourning. "Some tears escaped me yesterday listening to some of the testimonies," wrote a young journalist recalling the tenth anniversary (Words on point: Echoes of 11-M ten years later), reflecting how, a decade later, emotions were still running high.

• Solidarity and social awareness: The collective response to 11-M marked this generation. Soledad Murillo stresses that they will not forget the wave of solidarity that emerged during those days (This is how we lived through 11-M). In the hours and weeks that followed, thousands of citizens - many of them young university students - turned out to help: donating blood, assisting the wounded, accompanying them in hospitals and organizing tributes. "We took to the streets to say no to war and that is the best gesture for peace," Murillo recalls, alluding to the massive demonstrations of 12-M against terrorism and against the war. For the young people of 2004, those marches were formative experiences: side by side with strangers, candles in hand, they discovered unity in pain and the power of citizen mobilization. A representative testimony is that of Vera de Benito, who at the age of 9 lost her father in 11-M and years later decided to become a journalist to "search for the truth" (Words on point: Echoes of 11-M ten years later). Her generation grew up with the idea that civil society must raise its voice in the face of terror and injustice, and many channeled that awareness into civic engagement and careers dedicated to public service.

• Political impact and the search for the truth: 11-M occurred three days before a general election, in the midst of a strong polarization over the Iraq war. The young people of that time were perplexed by the political use of the massacre. In a letter written the same day of the attacks, Ángel Alda, from Madrid, described that feeling in a premonitory way: "the politicians will use all their panoply of explanations and your guts will churn once again", he lamented, thinking of how they would try to exploit the events in the run-up to 14-M (Letter from a chamberilero about the 11M attacks in 2004: "The politicians will use all their panoply of explanations and your guts will churn once again" | Somos Chamberí). Indeed, in the days that followed, many young people participated in spontaneous rallies demanding the truth (such as the well-remembered protest in front of the Government headquarters on the day of reflection). That generation learned, with rage and pain, about State lies, hoaxes, and disinformation . "They continue to lie about what happened on March 11," a victim told the HuffPost twenty years later, reflecting a shared sense of injustice when the jihadist authorship proven in court is denied (Life after the worst attack in Europe in the 21st century - The HuffPost) (The victims of 11M, two decades later: "Every time what happened is questioned, we are re-victimized").

In short, for those in their twenties in 2004, 11-M marked a before and an after. Their testimonies combine the vivid memory of pain and fear (silences broken only by sobs and sirens, indelible images of destroyed platforms) with pride in the solidarity shown by Spanish society. These generational reflections complement the historical analysis of 11-M with the human dimension of those who, in their youth, inherited both the trauma and the lessons of that tragic dawn.

Sources: Testimonials compiled from Spanish press and digital media (El Confidencial (The victims of 11M, two decades later: "Every time what happened is questioned, we are re-victimized"), El Diario (Where were you during 11-M? Even 20 years later, they still remember every detail), El Periódico de España (This is how we lived through 11-M), La Razón (If only I had taken that train...), personal blogs (In memoriam: 11 M - Nika Herrera), RTVE (11M, 20 years), etc.), as well as historical memory initiatives (letters and anniversary stories). Each testimony cited includes reference to its original source for greater context and veracity.

I pray for our Holy Lady's forgiveness 🙏

and I pray for our Holy Lord's forgiveness 🙏

Hoping that someday 🙏

All human beings behave like humans 🙏

And not any of us like beasts 🙏

Not anymore 🙏

Please, forgive us, Holy Lady 🙏

And please, forgive us, Holy Lord🙏

We must face the devil 🙏

looking into its eyes 🙏

face to face 🙏

until it is it the one which downs its head 🙏

and not us 🙏

I pray today for our Holy Easter 🙏

that begins today with our Holy Palm Sunday 🙏

Please, I pray for a Happy Holy Easter 🙏

I pray, I pray, I pray, and I pray 🙏

Original idea

by Pablo Gómez Abajo

Sources collected and draft of report

created with genAI aid

Text revised and rewritten

by Pablo Gómez Abajo

Final poem written and created entirely

by Pablo Gómez Abajo